| Date: 2005-08-04 9:43 p.m. The slightest bit of introspection today. This is probably one of the saddest birthdays I’ve had. Though I turned 21, I had to give a speech. It was a persuasive speech on stem-cell research. I put a lot of thought into the writing of it. So much so that I had maybe an hour to prepare for the delivery. That turned a well-written speech into such a horrible delivery that I didn’t say half the stuff I wanted to say. Instead it was filled with uhs and ums and pauses and confusion as to where my place is. Lack of preparation stripped every bit of the emotion I needed to convey to my listeners. My professor was more than generous. He gave me an 86. More than anything I wish I would have gotten a 50, so that I’ll learn. Instead, I’ll take my ‘A’ in the course and do the same shit in other classes in another semester.Today, I hate myself so much for what I did. The two social issues I know most about in American politics are gay marriage and embryonic stem-cell research. And today I made myself look like a fucking moron because I always think it’s alright to put things off until the last minute and study or write a speech the night before or the morning of. Procrastination could be alright for a test or paper that I don’t give a shit about, not with something like this. I actually cared about the topic I was speaking on.On a brighter note, before I started my speech I told my class that today is my birthday and that for my birthday they should give me one of those slow claps (like you see in movies sometimes) instead of the formality rounds of applause after every speech. A guy volunteered to start the slow clap, and it didn’t turn out as cool as I thought it would, but it made for good laughs and in part saved the situation from making me look like a total douchebag.And on another note, my parents really are the best parents ever. My Dad makes the effort to call me even though he’s halfway across the world. Even when it’s 5 AM there he calls when he knows I’m available.Today I’m feeling regretful, embarrassed, and grateful. |
